My So Called Life
by SockStealer
Summary: Typical fifteen year old James meets new girl Lily and he and his friends decide to get to know her. But despite their best efforts, she continues to push them away. Told from James's point of view. AU LJ
1. Chapter 1 The Meeting

**My So-Called Life**

Disclaimer: Nothing in this story besides the plot is ours

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Chapter One – The Meeting

I need to get better friends.

Yes, I know that "I need to get better friends" is no way to start a story, but it's my story so I'll tell it the way I like.

Anyway.

I need to get better friends.

Yep. My friends. All of them. From Sirius Black, the funny, hyper, insane, raving lunatic who is said to be a burning hunk of man flesh (I wouldn't know. I'm only going with what the girls say), to Remus Lupin, the bookish, thoughtful, selfless, solicitous guy that you go to for advice (he's also a werewolf, but that doesn't bother us), to Peter Pettigrew, the meek, shy, hesitant, everyone's-little-brother type of kid who is somewhat of a scaredy-cat (or rat, depending on how you look at it). All of us together make up "The Marauders."

Now let's get one thing straight. We didn't come up with that name. I mean, we're not like the Charms Club kids who call themselves the Elusive Double C's. Professor McGonagall just called us marauders when she caught us stealing boomslang from the teachers' private store in our second year. I can't even remember why we needed boomslang anymore. Probably for some lame twelve-year-old prank to turn the Slytherins pink. Our pranks have matured loads since then. Last week, we used our newfound Transfiguration knowledge to turn Snape into a cow, complete with greasy hair and udder.

Okay, so I guess that's not what most people would call mature. But it is a bit more creative than turning people pink.

Anyway, the name stuck and spread, so now we are widely known as the Marauders.

We usually hang out, just the four of us – when we can, that is. Most of the time, Mandy and Diana are trying to butt in. Which is really annoying, because they're so full of themselves. Fact: Mandy and Diana are popular. Fabrication: Everyone loves them. I most certainly don't care at all about their matching hair-ties, although it is clear that they do judging by the amount of time they spend talking about it. Unfortunately, I have most of my classes with them. Even Care of Magical Creatures, a class I thought was sure to scare away the girls, but once Diana heard that Sirius was doing it, she decided that she "absolutely adores animals" and promptly signed up for the class.

Oddly enough, this story starts with a Care of Magical Creatures assignment. Our teacher, Professor Kettleburn, has this weird obsession with "learning about creatures' anatomy in a way that is helpful and easy to understand." Don't ask me what that means. But anyway, he insists that we keep sketchbooks of all the creatures he shows us in class. I hadn't finished mine in class that day, so I had to finish it after school on my break. Why anyone would want to draw a Diricawl is way beyond me. It's a fat fluffy bird. Who cares?

So I was walking down to the paddock when I saw this girl that I hadn't ever seen before. But the thing is, she didn't look like a first year. In fact, she looked to be about my age. She had vivid red hair and was wearing a big baggy sweatshirt. But the absence of a robe wasn't what caught my eye – what had was the fact that she was skateboarding. That's a Muggle thing; I only knew of it because of Muggle Studies. But even with my minimal knowledge of the subject, I could easily tell she was very good at it.

She had found a particularly uneven section of the path to Hogwarts and was using the two steps in the middle as foundations for her jumps. When she reached the end of the downhill segment, she would pick up her skateboard, walk back to the top of the path, and ride down again. She didn't seem to realize I was there, let alone the fact that I was staring.

After she'd done a few runs, I figured I should close my gaping mouth and go talk to her, my Diricawl sketch completely forgotten. As I got closer, I could make out the color of her eyes: a deep, emerald green. And then I realized something I hadn't noticed before. She wasn't wearing any makeup. That surprised me even more than the fact that she was skateboarding. Well, okay, maybe it wasn't that surprising, but still, almost all of the girls at my school wore makeup, at least all the ones in my year. But here she was, definitely a girl, and she wasn't wearing lip-gloss or any of that other shiny stuff Mandy and Diana always talked about.

"Hey," I said once I got close enough for her to hear me. She didn't even look up as she continued her run down the path.

"Hey!" I said louder, thinking she hadn't heard me. This time she looked up briefly as she passed, a withering look on her face.

"So… what're you doing?" I asked, taking another brave stab at conversation as she walked past me on her way back up the path.

She gave me a look from the top of the trail, showing that she thought I was a psychotic idiot. She hopped back on her skateboard and began to ride down the path again.

"Skateboarding," she answered as she passed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was. But I wasn't thinking about that. I probably also should have realized she didn't want to talk to me just then, but hey, I'm fifteen. I don't notice these things.

"Right. Well, you're really good at it," I tried the next time she went by.

"Uh, thanks," she replied in the same manner as before.

"I'm James Potter," I said, holding out my hand for her to shake, although I guess that was kind of dumb since she wasn't really in hand-shaking proximity – she was at the top of the trail again, busy getting on her skateboard.

The next time she passed, she came to a complete stop in front of me, hopped off her skateboard, and stepped forcefully on the edge so that it sprang up into her arms. Completely ignoring my outstretched hand, she rolled her eyes and said, "Lily Evans." And then she walked away, skateboard under her arm.

Not the usual reaction to an offered hand. I mean, usually you'd shake it. But I guess the whole situation was pretty abnormal, wasn't it? Not exactly the usual happenings in my so-called life.

Remembering the sketchbook I held in my hand, I slowly walked towards the Diricawl enclosure, contemplating my strange encounter with the girl called Lily Evans.

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A/N: Read and review! Please and thank you!


	2. Chapter 2 Not So Shallow

**My So-Called Life**

_Disclaimer: Nothing in this story besides the plot is ours._

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**Chapter 2 – Not So Shallow**

The next day I was walking down to the clearing where we met for Care of Magical Creatures. Sirius was with me (Remus and Peter had a different class this period), and, to my displeasure, Mandy and Diana had joined us as well. Diana was hanging off of Sirius's arm, but he didn't seem to mind. I, however, was putting all my effort into getting away from Mandy and ignoring her at the same time – not an easy thing to do.

Mandy was going on about her new lip-gloss that "perfectly matched with her adorable new outfit." I would have pointed out to her that no one would be able to see her new outfit since it would be under her robes, but I saw something that distracted me completely.

Mandy had obviously not noticed my distraction because she was still talking, now having moved on to her new shoes. Since Diana was too busy listening to Mandy's rant, she didn't notice when I tapped Sirius on the back and whispered, "Padfoot, it's her. Lily. The one I told you about."

He turned his head and followed my gaze until he, too, had seen her.

Lily was standing by a window, glancing at a piece of parchment and then looking outside. She was now in her robes and was frowning and muttering to herself. She turned the paper left and right as though she couldn't decide how it was supposed to go.

"Think she's lost?" Sirius asked.

Before I could answer, Lily moaned in frustration and slid down the wall, staring at the ceiling. The parchment fluttered to the floor and we could see that it was a map.

By now Mandy and Diana had noticed her and were asking who she was. They were dutifully ignored.

"Oi! Lily!" Sirius called. "You lost?" But before she could do anything besides look up he said, "Where are you going? We can tell you how to get there."

Standing, she responded, "Care of Magical Creatures."

"We're going there too! Come with us, we'll take you there!" Sirius said with way too much cheer for Lily.

For a moment it looked like she would come with us. But then she said, "I'll find my way myself, thanks," turned on her heel and turned down another corridor.

"Think we should tell her she's going the wrong way?" I asked, turning my head around the corner so I could watch her walk down the hallway.

"Nah," said Sirius, pouting that anyone could resist his "charm."

"Come on!" said Mandy, tugging on my arm. "You have to walk me to my class and if we don't hurry, I'll be late!"

"That would be a pity," I muttered under my breath, walking quickly to get to her class.

After dropping off Mandy, we headed outside to Professor Kettleburn. Looking, around, I saw that Lily hadn't made it yet. Diana was still holding on to Sirius's arm. She had taken over Mandy's position as annoying giggly girl and was talking about hair. I inwardly rolled my eyes.

"Class! Pay attention now!" started Professor Kettleburn, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Today we are going to study the Ramora. Who can tell me what a Ramora is?"

One of the Ravenclaws, Elise Scott, I think her name was, raised her hand. When Professor Kettleburn nodded to her, she beamed and answered, "It is a highly valued silver fish that is found in the Indian Ocean. Its magic is very strong and it is commonly thought of as the guardian of seafarers." What did she have for breakfast this morning? Textbooks? She should get together with Remus sometime – I swear I saw him try to take a bite out of the corner of his Defense book this morning.

"Very good. Five points to Ravenclaw. Aside from what Miss Scott said, the Ramora can also anchor ships. Now, I have just received a shipment of these beautiful fish and they are now in the lake. You will be studying them today." No, he's telling us all about them and we're not studying them today.

With a wave of his wand, Professor Kettleburn conjured up two locker rooms. He then stated, "You will find swimsuits in your sizes in the locker labeled with your name. Put them on and meet me back here in five minutes."

The class gaped. Then one Ravenclaw said, "Surely you don't mean we're going IN to the lake?"

Professor Kettleburn was not impressed. "Of course you're going into the lake! The fish aren't going to come out of the water so you can see them! Now go and change or I will take off points!"

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Once we came out from our respective locker rooms, Professor Kettleburn said, "Get into groups of three or four and then sit down!"

I moved towards Sirius, and, unfortunately, so did Diana.

"Come on then, we have our group!" said Diana as she sat down and tugged at Sirius's hand. I reluctantly followed the example and sat down as well.

When the whole class was seated in their groups, Professor Kettleburn said, "Good, now that you have your groups we can go to the-"

Suddenly, Lily ran into the clearing.

"You're the new student then? Lily Evans?" When she nodded, he continued, "Since you are new I will not take off points. In the future, however, do not be late to my class or you will find your house with many fewer points. Now, go into the locker room to your right and change into your swimming suit. We are going into the lake today to study the Ramoras."

She visibly stiffened.

"Well? Go!" said Professor Kettleburn.

"I… don't swim." The class grew silent and watched the exchange with wide eyes. No one contradicted Professor Kettleburn. While he might seem to be friendly at first, he had a very nasty temper when crossed.

"I don't swim," she said more firmly.

"You do now. Change and then join…" he scanned the area, his eyes coming to a rest on my group, "Potter's group." He turned away from her, apparently thinking she would go. Lily, however, had other ideas. She did not run to change, nor did she join my group. She just stood there, frozen in place.

When Professor Kettleburn saw that she wasn't moving, he walked back to her and said menacingly, "You are going to swim with the rest of the class. You are going to change and then you are going to join the group I assigned you to. You will not disobey me in the future. Fifteen points from," he glanced at the Gryffindor crest on her robes, "Gryffindor. Go now. If you don't, you will receive detention for a month and your house will lose one hundred points."

The class watched Lily with baited breath. She stood there for a moment looking Professor Kettleburn defiantly in the eye. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, she turned and swiftly walked into the locker room.

Professor Kettleburn turned away from her, fuming. Looking around at us, he spat, "What are you waiting for! Go to the edge of the lake and wait for instructions!"

We scrambled to do his bidding. An angry Professor Kettleburn was not a force to reckon with.

Once we were all in our lines at the lake's shore, Professor Kettleburn said, "Each person will have a maximum of 5 minutes to observe the fish. I was not going to make you do a sketch of the Ramora since it would be difficult for you to hold your breath long enough to see it all of its anatomic subtleties, but your disobedient classmate just earned you that assignment."

Ignoring the fact that his students were less than pleased, Professor Kettleburn said, "Any questions then?"

Elise Scott timidly raised her hand again and asked, "Are we allowed to use the Bubblehead Charm, sir?"

"No. The Ramora is a shy fish. A human with a bubble that looks like an upside-down fish tank on their head would appear intimidating and threatening to the fish. You will have to hold your breath. You may, however, use a water repelling charm on your eyes as long as it is not visible to the fish. Now, on my whistle, the first person will jump in. One- two- three-" He blew hard into the whistle.

Sirius jumped in, along with the first person in all the other lines. He came up frequently for air and to exchange a few words with me.

Roughly one minute into the first group's time, Lily came out of the locker rooms and headed for Diana and me. Professor Kettleburn called, "Evans, you're next! You have four minutes!"

She ignored him and continued walking. When she got to us, Diana asked, "Why didn't you just, like, go? Now we have, like, a whole other assignment!"

Lily looked at her scathingly and said in a mocking voice, "I, like, apologize, like, for, like, giving you, like, any inconvenience, like." Which got Diana to shut up for once in her life. When Lily turned and looked at me, I grinned at her. Any person to stand up to Professor Kettleburn and leave Diana speechless was a person that earned my respect.

Just then, Sirius resurfaced.

"So, how were the fish, Paddy?" I asked.

"Absolutely spiffing, Prongsy," said Sirius, climbing out of the lake.

"Did you see anything?" I reached down, giving him a hand up to his feet.

"No."

I smirked just as Professor Kettleburn blew his whistle again, signaling the end of the first group's turn and the start of the second's. Luckily, he was on the other side of the lake and didn't notice that Lily hadn't jumped in.

"Um… Lily… I think it's your turn," I said carefully.

She turned to me. "I don't swim." I mentally cringed at the glare she gave me.

"Go! You're going to get us more work!" said Diana, giving Lily a push towards the lake.

Bad move. Lily lost her balance and fell into the water. We all watched the surface, waiting for her to come up for breath as Sirius had done, and as her classmates were now doing.

"She can hold her breath for a long time," said Sirius, peering into the lake as we waited.

And waited. And waited. And then it hit me. "Bloody hell, Sirius, she's drowning!" And I did the only thing I could think of. I performed the water repelling charm on my eyes and dove into the lake.

As soon as I was in the water, I started to panic. I searched left and right in the murky water, ignoring the sting in my eyes. Shit, shit, shit, shit, I thought. I dove deeper, searching frantically for a glimpse of red hair, but the dark water was clouding my vision. Shit shit shit shit shit. Where was she? I could barely see anything; a few times I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, but there was never anything there when I looked around.

I swam deeper, trying to ignore the eerie silence all around me. Shit shit shit shit shit. My ears popped as I felt my hands graze the pebbly floor of the lake. I stopped swimming, scanning my surroundings quickly and knowing that I was going to run out of air very soon. Shit shit shit shit shit, I was still thinking - I know, a stunning display of vocabulary, but I was a bit too preoccupied to focus on my terminology at the time. Where WAS she? I swam along the bottom as fast as I could, "shit shit shit" repeating over and over in my head until, finally, I saw something resembling a head of red hair.

As I swam closer, I saw that it was indeed Lily. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I wrapped one arm around her and tried to swim toward the surface of the lake, but she was heavy. I groaned and renewed my efforts; there was no way I was going to fail now that I had finally found her. Locking my arm around Lily and using the other to help me swim, I pushed off the floor of the lake as hard as I could and started swimming up.

It seemed that every muscle I possessed was cramping, and my lungs felt like they were about to pop from the lack of oxygen… And then, finally, I felt hands reach down and pull Lily out of the water. Seconds later, I was on the shore of the lake, gulping down breaths of the cool fall air and looking around.

Professor Kettleburn was still on the other side of the lake, fully immersed in a conversation with that Elise girl, and hadn't noticed anything wrong. Diana wasn't there; she had probably run off. Good thing too, or I might have punched her. Despite my No-Hitting-Girls policy. I focused on the still motionless Lily.

Sirius, who was hovering over Lily, said shakily, "I don't think she's breathing…" Nice going Sirius. You've renewed my hyperventilating-great-vocabulary state: shit shit shit shit shit.

I pulled myself over to Lily (my muscles protesting severely), thinking, oh shit shit shit come on breathe! Breathe, Lily, BREATHE! Since she apparently wasn't listening to my silent commands, I continued with my previous vocabulary mantra. Shit shit shit shit shit-

"CPR!" said Sirius loudly, interrupting my profound thoughts.

"Uh… what?" I asked intelligently.

"CPR! I don't know any spells to get her to breathe; you were the only one listening when Professor Coasten told us how to do CPR!"

"You want me to do CPR on Lily! She'd kill me if she found out!" I said, temporarily forgetting my panic and the gravity of the situation.

"Well if you don't, she won't be here to kill anyone 'cause she'll be DEAD, James!"

Oh right. I forgot about that problem. Knowing there was no other alternative, I said, "Fine! But I'm telling her it was your idea!" Pinching her nose, I put my mouth on hers and, praying that she would wake up soon, I started the process our Muggle Studies teacher had taught us only a few days prior.

After a few dread-filled seconds, I felt Lily stiffen. I pulled away and she coughed up a good deal of water. Sirius gave a loud whoop and started doing what I presumed to be his version of a happy dance. Lily took one look at Sirius and one at me and then sprinted towards the castle, leaving me kneeling on the ground, staring after her.

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"So we all know Lily didn't like it," said Remus, with an evil glint in his eye. He was referring to the CPR part of my story, which I had just finished telling him and Peter. "But did you like it?"

"I- she- what?" The question took me by surprise. "She was practically dying! I was panicking every second of it! How was I supposed to like that?"

"Oh…" Remus paused. "But you would have liked it if she wasn't unconscious?" It was really more of a statement than a question.

"I- I didn't say that!" I said indignantly.

"Sure you didn't, Prongsy. We believe you," said Sirius, patting me on the head.

"I didn't!" I insisted, swatting his hand away.

"How come you're blushing then?" asked Peter, joining in on their wonderful Bash-James session.

"I'm not blushing!" But as I said it, I felt my face heat up. "Okay, now I'm blushing but only 'cause you brought it up!"

All three of them gave me knowing looks.

"Stop it!"

"We're not doing anything, Prongsy," said Sirius innocently.

"Yes you are! You're acting like you know something I don't!" I nearly screamed, stomping my feet. Okay, so I was acting a little immature.

"And you're acting like a three-year-old. We know you didn't like it," said Remus.

"I didn't not like it!" I froze. The three of them were grinning again. "Er… I meant… DAMN YOUR REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY MOONY!"

The three of them burst out laughing as if we weren't talking about a life and death matter here. I opened my mouth to tell them off, when who else but Lily walked into the common room.

"Hey Lily! How are you feeling?" I said, jumping up, before I had a chance to think about what I was saying. It's not like she had a cold or something; you just don't ask "how are you feeling?" right after a person almost drowns.

Lily froze and slowly turned around to face me. "Fine," she said in a strained voice. "But you shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah, yeah, it was no problem," I said, having a temporary brain lapse as I waved my hand dismissively in her direction. It's sort of a conditioned response; you know, to say "no problem" after you give someone a gift and they say, "Aw, you shouldn't have!" even though what they really mean is "Yay! Free gifties!" Then I paused mid-wave, realizing that I hadn't just given her a gift. I'd saved her life. So what was she being all casual about?

"Wait… what?" I backtracked.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Lily again, lifting her chin to look me in the eye.

I looked at her standing there in her determined stance, and realized that she was perfectly serious. She was really saying that I shouldn't have pulled her out of the lake. Um, hello, if I hadn't pulled her out, she'd be dead.

"WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?" I said quite loudly. The third years sitting at a table nearby looked around curiously.

"I had the situation completely under control," she said, voice flat.

"Um, you were passed out," I said tactfully.

"I would have figured something out," said Lily.

"Okay, no, you were passed out, as in unconscious, as in your brain wasn't functioning," I said, aware that I was now waving my arms around in the air like a windmill and not quite caring. "You can't figure things out when your brain isn't functioning!"

"I had it under control," she said, lifting her chin higher when I looked at her incredulously. "And I did not need you to save me!"

I opened my mouth, but she had already turned and walked off, leaving me to splutter incomprehensibly in her wake. "But- she and- what the- and then- I REALLY don't understand that girl," I said pointlessly to the empty space around me.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, reminding me that my friends had witnessed the entire scene. I wheeled around and saw my feelings reflected animatedly on their faces – basically pure bafflement.

"Well," said Remus, filling the reasonably stunned silence. "I guess we now know that Lily didn't enjoy the CPR."

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A/N: Thank you for reviewing. 


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